• EnsignWashout@startrek.website
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    17 hours ago

    That tracks with some human social groups I have met or been welcomed into.

    There’s usually one or two guys who are willing to play the “big scary” when necessary to get rid of creeps. The rest of the time they’re usually the chill ones whose couch anyone can crash on.

    I guess that is a kind of leadership, in itself.

    But they usually aren’t the one who decides which theater to go to.

    • givesomefucks@lemmy.world
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      16 hours ago

      There’s usually one or two guys who are willing to play the “big scary” when necessary

      It’s not even willingness…

      I’m a huge dude, basically the human equivalent of a silverback.

      Especially in big events like college/pro sports or music festivals, if I was with a large coed group, random dudes approached me before hitting on any of the women around.

      It wasn’t like they came up thumping chests or asking permission.

      They’d just test the waters with me and if I seemed cool pivot to hitting on the women. Because out of everyone in the group, if I had a problem with them, I would literally and figuratively be their biggest problem.

      But size doesn’t mean shit in the modern world, so it’s super weird for big guys, especially if it starts when they’re young. Sometimes it goes to people’s heads and that’s pretty much where bullies come from. The people who tolerate that behavior and hang around reinforce it and it just feedback loops