• goji@lemmy.caEnglish
    221·
    1 year ago

    My go-to is to ask what they like to do in their spare time.

    A lot of the time you’ll get answers about how they have none or how it’s filled with chores, but you can always redirect and say, if you suddenly had a bunch of free time just for yourself, and you couldn’t use it to work, what would you fill it with?

    In my mind the latter gets you down to what brings them joy, and in some cases how they want to see themselves, which can tell you a lot about a person.

    • mifan@feddit.dk
      51·
      1 year ago

      This is great - it will get people to talk about something they like. I love that - and I always try to stay curious when people are talking, poke them with whys and hows to really get them talking.

      Sometimes the easy thing is to ask a question out of politeness, then not really listen and just wait to get to talk yourself. But focusing on active listening and understanding will bring you much deeper in a conversation and the person you’re talking to.

  • hitmyspot@aussie.zone
    6·
    1 year ago

    What music are you listening to at the moment?

    Favourite bands can be divisive and sometimes people answer with what they think you want to hear. Current listens can be stuff you love, stuff you’ve discovered, stuff that’s catchy or stuff that’s a long term favourite.

    • TehBamski@lemmy.worldOP
      84·
      1 year ago

      I’d be a bumbling fool trying to list bands if it wasn’t for a music app like Spotify. I just tried to list 20 bands off the top of my head and came up with 6… What!? As someone who has over 500 bands or music groups liked on Spotify, this is just wild.

    • TehBamski@lemmy.worldOP
      63·
      1 year ago

      That’s easy. Superman.

      Now… what if the T-Rex had a few teeth made out of kryptonite and was half cyborg? Who would win now?

      • verity_kindle@sh.itjust.works
        2·
        1 year ago

        Ooh, see, this is the active listening that leads to deep hours of conversation. Which we will now demonstrate. What part of the trex is cyborg? If it’s his little arms, that’s not going to help. Now, one with cyborg legs, now you’ve got something…

  • Lightor@lemmy.world
    2·
    1 year ago

    I like favorites. If you think about it, each person has a favorite for most things. They’ve lived their whole life and have landed on say a single food or movie as their favorite. I think talking about those things can really give you some insight on a person.

    And as a bonus you can get the chance to branch out. If anyone ever says X is my favorite movie and I’ve never seen it, I’ll watch it. If it’s someone’s favorite it usually has something there worth experiencing.

    • WastedJobe@feddit.de
      31·
      1 year ago

      I think those questions say more about the person asking them. None of these (except maybe the last one) ask about political views, interests besides technology, humor, or what they care about the most if it’s not one of the things directly asked about.