The two genders are equal, but still different. There are things to celebrate in each, and also conversations you’d want to hold in private with either group about the best way to look to their future.

I agree that we need men to stop seeing “women’s voices” as an attack though. I think it comes up because young white men see hundreds of support groups and slogans that champion every other minority, and will never once mention them. Even if the argument is they’re not “threatened” in a way they deserve it, and even if members of their demographic basically rule the world, the feeling of exclusion for them as individuals is real.

I don’t think framing their issues in terms of women’s issues is helpful. “But what about men” is just a unhelpful when dealing with issues for women. Feminism did great things to advance the interests of women, and it required coordination and struggle over many decades against a system which wasn’t receptive to their needs. Now, each year, the U.S. spends close to $8B on women’s initiatives spanning many areas from healthcare to education. If you’re suggesting men need their own movement, perhaps you’re right. Perhaps what we’re seeing is the early formation of that. Messy, uncoordinated, and immature, as are all early movements.

In the mean time, I don’t think “be better” is a resonant message. It was rightly dismissed when people said it to women in the 1960s and it should be dismissed now. These issues are structural and require structural solutions. I think a big part of this is economic. Men are taught from a young age (by men and women) that unless they make a lot of money, they’re worthless. Society is offering fewer and fewer opportunities for men in traditionally blue collar industries to thrive. If we offer few opportunities and call them worthless for not succeeding, this is a recipe for societal instability.