A recent study by researchers at the University of Padua and the Max Planck Institute for Demographic Research (MPIDR) has revealed that political differences between partners can significantly increase the risk of separation. Using long-term data from UK couples, the researchers found that those with different party preferences were substantially more likely to separate than those with the same political beliefs. The risk is particularly high when there are differences of opinion on Brexit.
In a relationship, sure. In a marriage? Can’t help to fault them for not finding out.
Geez with that kind of ability to just magically know everything about someone I’m shocked that you’re here wasting time on the internet. That kind of skill should be put to you saving the world shouldn’t it? Guy over here is basically Wonder Woman’s lasso.
Here’s a thing. There are people who have mental illness that absolutely does interfere with their ability to be honest about who and what they are.
There’s also a whole host of other things like neurological divergence that causes people to mask. Both behaviours and views to fit in. Some people know deep down that their beliefs are wrong but they are selfish about the investment they feel they have in another person, so much so that they won’t leave because they don’t think they can get someone else. Trying to boil something down to “you were married, you should have known”, especially when marriage for love in history is a relatively very new thing is kind of ridiculous. I’ve been married for 12 years. I still don’t know everything about my spouse or their views. And given that people’s views can change drastically over time, it’s reasonable to assume that one or the other person is going to disagree about something they may have believed a year ago or 5 years ago etc.
I’ve been married twice. I certainly wasn’t expecting the first person I married to leave me in crippling debt because he couldn’t take care of himself or be an adult. I had no reason to think he would just stop paying bills. No reason to think he’d get addicted to pills and hide it from me. People. Change.
Chill. There was no reason to go off on this guy. And you really did. WTH?
I didn’t say I magically know everything about anyone. I said if I’m marrying someone, I make it my business to find out who they are.
Okay I got it. So you have a magical power that as soon as you say I do you gain full and complete total knowledge of somebody. Impossible to fool no way whatsoever something could get by you. We’re taking you to Vegas. Going to set up a CIA black site and an Elvis impersonator and get some shit done.
Are you 11?
Not able to discern that huh? Don’t worry I know it’s just cuz we haven’t said I do yet.
Do you really believe you’re making a point here?
Do you really feel you’re the person to ask that question after your little sanctimonious speech about how everyone else is stupid if they get fooled and you’ll never be fooled by anybody? Did you think you were making a good point with that?
My, ahem, speech was literally “Find out who you’re marrying before you marry them”. If what you heard was “everyone else is stupid if they get fooled and I’ll never be fooled by anybody”, then you might have some introspection to do.
My wife lied about who she was and what she wanted from me for 20 years before she started fucking another guy… She even managed to hide that from me for a few months, and continued to try to hide it as I figured out what was going on… I ended up having to talk to the guy (because of course it was someone we both knew) to get confirmation- and I thought it had only just started, he’s the one who told me it had been going on for months. He said she told him we were already separated, just living in the same house to keep things stable for the kids… He seemed genuinely distressed and apologetic to find out that wasn’t true, and from my wife’s change in demeanor afterwards, I think he broke it off with her, though she was still trying to stay close to him, under the guise of letting our kids play together… But I suspect even that’s stopped now, based on what I hear from our daughter… Sounds like she’s latched onto another guy she works with… Which is how we met way back when… And she still hasn’t filed the divorce papers, she started working on it back in March… At this point I’m going to beat her to it, I’ve been talking to a couple lawyers…
That’s different. I’m sure she still holds most of the same values she did when you two got married. Cheating, of course, is awful, but it doesn’t touch all aspects of your life so it’s much easier to hide. I’m talking about people who end up marrying someone who turns out to be a Nazi or the likes. I find it hard to believe that they didn’t know before marrying them.