I’d be Cables Don’t Tangle Man.
I’d be perfect departure time man. Able to determine exactly when to leave in order to arrive at your destination on time, regardless of traffic, weather, or other conditions encountered along the way.
I don’t know if this qualifies as “b-tier”, but I’d really would like a superpower where when hearing a sound I knew exactly what made it.
I live in an old house, in the middle of a forest. Lots of weird noises both inside and outside. Being able to know if a sound I just heard requires my attention (i.e. “is that some animal messing around in my walls, or just the old wood squeaking”) would be gold. The amount of times I’ve gotten out of bed in the middle of the night to investigate something is too damn high. After countless mice, vasps nests, birds, and various mammals deciding to move in with us, my paranoia levels have skyrocketed.
Would also sort out the “is that my kid crying, or just the draft through the vents”-question, as well as “is that normal wood settling noises, or is there more rot I’ve yet to find and the whole house is collapsing”.
I’m happy I’m not alone. Last night something was going through my kitchen. It sounded larger than a mouse and it didn’t care about making noise. You know that moment when you’re asleep and your body wakes you up slightly cuz something is off. And you’re in that low power state thinking about whether you should think or not because it’ll wake you up?
Anyway I was so exhausted I thought let it have some fun I just can’t care.
There are dozens of us!
I’ve had the exact same reaction - “whatever it is, as long as it stays out of the bedroom I’ll deal with it tomorrow”.
My favorite incident here, as a tangent, is when my wife came to me for help while I was doing something in the garden. A large crow was sitting on the kitchen counter. My initial thought was “well there goes my day” as birds tend to be the worst to get out. However, everyone keep saying how smart those birds are so I figured I’d do what I do when half-ferral cats stumble in.
So I walked in, see the crow, the crow sees me, and we kind of just stare at each other. I slowly backed up, went around the house and entered again through the backdoor. I grabbed his attention again before going out once more, and in again through the main door. We stared at each other some more, and then he just lightly jumped across the floor and went out the back door. No frantical flying and crapping everywhere. 10/10 experience as far as birds stuck in the house goes.
It’s probably in my imagination, but we shared a moment there. What’s not in my imagination though is that afterwards a bunch of crows started hanging around the house. So I started giving them some snacks every once in a while, because why not. Long story long, we have a small murder of crows watching over the property.
The crow whisperer.
A while back my shed suddenly was demolished spontaneously. So I’m running around in full makeup trying to get all the gardening stuff out to put it in my place.
There were some shockingly large spiders there. I’m talking the largest that I’ve ever seen irl outside a zoo.
Doesn’t matter, eggs and all are going inside.
So the other day I woke up and I saw one of those babies right above my head on the wall. I’m like I better get rid of this thing before I give it a name. Scurries off under my bed.
I imagine it’s still there but I’ve made my peace with it.
And as for mice. Honestly I’d build them a little home and give them little sandwiches. In fact I have made little sandwiches for them. The issue is just that they make my kitchen dirty.
This sounds like a good premise for a horror story. You get your hearing superpower and everything is finally great, no need to get up and investigate benign noises. And then one day, you hear a sound that no matter what you do, you can’t tell what and where it’s coming from.
That button in the lift that closes the doors? I can press it with the power of my mind.
Ooh! Does this include, when you want to join a road but can’t get out because nobody gives you way, the ability to telekinetically push the button on a nearby pedestrian crossing?
I don’t drive so this looks like mumbo jumbo to me. However I’m pretty solid on a yes here.
Being able to fall asleep and wake up exactly when I want to without an alarm man.
Food-doesnt-make-me-overweight-or-mess-up-my-health man.
So I can eat whatever I want and it’s perfectly healthy for me whatever it is. I’d eat ao much ice cream it wouldn’t be funny.
That’s a S tier super power.
Nothing gets stuck in my teeth man.
Or, doesn’t get acid reflux man.
I actually seem to have this one: Appropriately sized container man. I can find the best sized container when we have leftovers from cooking. Extra pasta sauce? This container fits it all in perfectly.
IDK man, that’s toeing the line of an A-tier power.
My wife has a version of this; it’s perfect liquid measurement estimation woman. She never has to use measuring cups for liquids. I’ve actually bothered to test this power, and it’s uncanny.
All I got was hysterical kitchen blindness man. I can’t see things I’m looking for in the fridge or pantry, even when they’re right in front of me.
Always remember where I put stuff man
I don’t want to lose another guitar pick lol
Anti ADHD powers are definitely S-tier. A-Tier would be complete control of the hyperfixation.
I just wanna be No-health-problem man
I’d love to be no-longer-forced-to-rent man.
Free refill man. Just point my finger and any beverage is refilled.
Sounds more like “solves water crisis man” to me. Point your finger at the colorado river and we are all set.
Your nemesis is Nestle. They want to put you in a locked room in the desert and pump sports drink out of you.
Ah, see I assume some sort of anime rules apply to the power and the larger the vessel the more it would sap my energy.
I guess I would still need to worry about being kidnapped by nestle and being hooked up to a feeding tube and gives to use my powers anyway…
I’d like to think that they could break out of Nestle jail by pointing at all the guards stomachs and giving them otherworldly acid reflux.
They all just start projectile vomiting an endless stream. Brutal.
What’s the opposite of procrastination?
Eagerness girl? That… sounds wrong somehow.All hail Productiva, Slayer of Tasks!
