I’ve been dealing with depression (and anxiety) for well over 5 years now. I’ve tried so many different medications and treatments with no apparent success. Inevitably, in the course of the treatment, the doctor will ask if I’m starting to feel better to see if it’s worth continuing the treatment, up the dose, or swap to something else. And… I never know what to say. If it’s not going to get dramatically better all of a sudden, I don’t really know how to recognize any incremental progress if it’s happening at all and without being able to do that, I might be passing on treatments that could have helped if I gave it more time.
So if you’ve been in this situation, how did you recognize progress? To the extent that you can put it into words, what did it feel like to slowly get better as you were treated?
Depression is so very hard. Its unbelievably hard. I spent most of my life depressed. 13 to 50. Not being depressed is weird. I don’t know who to live without it. I tried drugs, they made it worse. Suicidal tendencies made it hard to take drugs. My first break was laughing at a kids movie, it was a real laugh. I broke down and cried. It was the beginning of getting rid of depression. Maybe 10 years before I was out of it. Things slowly changed. Lines like, “it is what it is,” helped. I work on mindfulness. I avoid thinking about anything that has negative emotions. Really, I avoid thinking. Mostly, you need to change the way you think and behave. I am not the person I was. I act and do things differently. Be willing to change anything to get out of it. Fear of change kept me in it for a long time. Good luck. You are not alone. You might be able to become a survivor. Keep trying.