I had a discussion with a friend recently and during that discussion, one comment was “Fitted sheets are really both the best and the worst”, of course referencing them as awesome when put on a mattress and the worst when you’re trying to fold them.
What else do we have that would qualify for being awesome, but also the worst in a different context?
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The Internet
On the positive side, it allows you to contact people that you would have never interacted with otherwise
On the negative side, it allows people to contact you that you never would have interacted with otherwise
I love and hate sleep. Sleep feels good in the morning but trying to motivate myself to go to sleep is a challenge
Opposite for me. It feels great to sleep. But it sucks to wake up. I have to motivate myself for 20-ish minutes before I get out of bed lol.
As an insomniac I can relate.
Genitals. Both male and female. (Generally) awesome when in use but a maintenance nightmare otherwise. Reasons for being the worse (some depending on gender) include: initiating takeoff visibly and without reason, leakages, being very fragile, requiring more packaging than any other body part and others
Can make humans; also hurts like hell for no apparently functional reason every month.
Funny thing I heard is that it’s like a punishment for not getting pregnant (by the body). Post pregnancy my wife said she had periods but without the pain, like the body was saying ‘I’m happy for now.’
-“Where are the babies?”
-But I already have two ba…
I DEMAND BABIES FOR THE BABY THRONE!
MILK FOR THE BABE KING!
Milk for the Khorne flakes
Well, I sure am happy I put the nsfw tag on this post now. Thanks for the awesome reply.
I was just going to say a blowjob with pop rocks, so yeah, his reply had more thought behind it.
All fun 'n games till ya pop!
To be fair it was the NSFW tag that gave me the idea. I went “why would this have an NSFW tag? … Ooooh!”
Not to mention how much more cleaning they need compared to, say, the legs and arms.
Phones.
Banking apps, podcasts, gps navigation, chatting to friends, listening to music are all awesome.
But then getting stuck doomscrolling and constantly checking my phone trying to eke out a little more stimulation when literally anything else would be a more productive way to spend my day - that part sucks ass.
Consider the day the guy in charge of domestic espionage was told everyone will willingly carry a wire + camera + gps always and make it their top priority taking care of said device while also paying for it and recording everything consensually.
I love a good doomscroll before work.
I’m doomscrolling right now
Pooping: one the one hand it feels pretty great. The sensation itself is nice as well as the relief. On the other hand, now you’ve got poop on your butthole that’s got to go.
Bidet
Still, in a perfect world pooping wouldn’t require any cleanup.
Gotta eat oatmeal and stop using dairy products.
Sure, but are you really even living at that point?
Yes, actually! You gotta see that from the other end. A life where the stomach and intestines are at rest and don’t complain continuously is a good one.
The way I make my oatmeal, it could be considered a dairy product
I never poop on either of my hands.
The almost-but-not-quite-empty toothpaste tube issue strikes again
What?
Ever had an almost empty toothpaste tube that you just couldn’t empty entirely and maybe some leaks out later?
Edit: they call it swamp-aste apparently
Death. All the bad shit is gone, but so is all the good shit.
When your wife tells you: „You have the biggest dick in the neighbourhood“
Haha yeah
Things with wireless power (small vacuum) are terrific and convenient until they run out of battery or stop holding a significant charge, at which point they become embarrassing
A broom is always a broom
I love the fact you call them embarrassing instead of useless.
Eating. It’s such a drama story tbh
Interesting, would you mind elaborating a bit? What do you see as the good parts? What do you see as the bad parts?
When you’re hungry food is delicious and if it’s hard to get at your body won’t let up about it.
But, when you eat ordinary food it complains about a lack of quality or taste.
And then when you eat great food it stops talking about the sensation after a single dish. (There’s some professional point taste reaches where it’s too long and it just stops being great).
Heckin long drama story!
I love everything about food, and I love all food. Cheap food, expensive food, fast food, food I prepared myself, all cuisines. All food is amazing to me. I plan my vacations around how many meals I can eat and how many places I want to try. I want to travel the world and eat every food.
Except now I’m trying to lose weight, and food is my enemy. Portion control is so hard. 😭 Though I find it’s much easier when I prepare food at home.
Thanks for explaining. Hadn’t actually thought about it until you said it, and now I can’t stop thinking about it.
Not OP but: you have to eat but most of the best foods make you fat or are bad for you in some other way.
The cheap sugar donuts at grocery stores that scratch my throat just right. Sugar donuts from coffee shops that are higher quality aren’t as good.
So…sex on an SSRI.
Pro: I can effortlessly last over an hour. Basically edging without trying.
Con: It’s simply impossible to finish sometimes and I just have to say it was good enough and stop. Or the mix of chemicals in my brain just don’t let me start for whatever reason. The times I can finish, I have to take over and go extra intense on myself to peak the mountain. If my partner tries, they can’t get me there.
“And the sun shining on my face” -Rocky Dennis
