Yesterday, I was washing the car with my son. He said, “Dad, can’t you just use a sponge?”

Why does a chicken coop have two doors?

If it had four doors it’d be a chicken sedan.

I took the kids to Disney land, and when we got close the sign said Disney Land left so we turned around and went home

Did you hear what happened to the cyber criminal?

She ransomware

Two drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff.

Badum dum tish

There is a community for that here.

When driving past a cemetery: Did you know people who live in this town aren’t allowed to be burried there?
Why?
Because they’re still alive! They’re dying to get in though!

I like to tell dad jokes.

Sometimes, he laughs.

Q: Why didn’t the skeleton cross the road?

A: Didn’t have the guts.

Also

Q: What do you call a paper airplane that can’t fly?

A: Stationery.

Did you hear about the guy who fell in the well?

He did not see that well.

I spilled Spot remover on my dog and now he’s gone 🥺

Geese fly in a vee to save energy. Do you know why one side of the vee is longer than the other?

There’s more geese on one side.

My wife didn’t believe me when I said I built a car out of spaghetti and meatballs.

She was blown away when I drove pasta.