As a fat highschooler, ehen, as a fat woman highschooler, i got rejected so many times. Never once did it make me hate and distrust men. Because every person is their own.
I was big growing up because my guardian literally kept me in my room, threw McDonald’s at me and called me a fat bitch. I was allowed to go to school, and go to my room from age 12-16. When he was arrested i lost 60 pounds, gained it back though. Then when i was 21 i lost 80 pounds in 11 months, i worked hard, rode my bike to work.
Then, I got pregnant at 25. Gained for that- but lost it all fast with nursing and maintained healthy weight until the pandemic. I liked hiking, and riding my bike to work, and ate whole foods, i had, had fast food a whole 3 times since i was 21. … until i was 32. My male coworkers ate bk for lunch every day, they were thin, our work was hard (i lifted and packed approx 2000-3000 pounds of material we made a shift), so i started getting Bk too. And i got fat.
The pandemic hit and my now husband got the unemployment, so he ordered restaurant food nearly 5x a week. I left my job to support my kid. I peaked my weight again.
Now, at 37 years old, with a special needs child, no walkability in my neighborhood, and no car (we have one car and he works a lot) to drive to the trails… my son at seven, stopped liking hiking anyway, i find myself stuck in my house. (The last time i took him he literally just layed down in the beginning of the trail and refused to move, its kind of funny now). This also was when hubs was ordering hella food, id get a salad or whatever but fries are just, a god. Anyway
I live a pretty isolated life. I signed up $40/month for a gym with a pool and was swimming last year, but when i only have a one hour window (with the car) to go a day, and the pool schedule being what it was, i stopped going. Excuse? Sure, but i always found it easist to lose weight and exercise when it was baked into my life, and not like, going to the gym, i dont want people to see the fat girl run, even when i was 21 i would run my neighborhood at night so people couldnt see me. But i liked the pool, i just cant get there without a car, which i dont have. My bike is broken, i sont onow how to fix it, and cant afford to, and like i said, you come out my little neighborhood, its immediately highway. I walked with ny son up there one day to try and go somewhere, and someone took a right on red, when we had the crosswalk, and nearly hit us. All you could hear was cars, and smell exhaust- truly aweful pedestrian experience.
Im back on whole foods, but its not really what i eat now, its seditary lifestyle. “So get out there!” One might say, i have highways on two sides of me, and an airport on the other, and a swamp on the otherside. My favorite local grocer is .6 miles from me measured directly through the swamp to the strip mall, you have to take a highway to get there. It’s so frustrating, i would walk. I really would. I struggle to work out on my own, my husband is tall and thin, and hates working out, so im on my own. Thats the hard part.
Im keep eating my veggies and whole foods and continue to work on it, since i turned 32 my goal is to get fit again by 40.
My husband got a sword and i was messing around with it, and realized my arms have gotten weak, so just this week i started doing push ups. Or even just trying to hold myself up in that planking position. I work on my binge eating disorder with my therapist because, being alone in the house, with no friends to invite me anywhere, just readig the Internet some mornings, is enough to say, "I don’t care I’m making nachos for breakfast, it doesnt make dishes, i dont feel like cleaning the god damn cutting board and doing dishes. I do em all by hand, and when you cook from scratch, dishes are… plentiful.
Anyway, i know its the best thing. I remember when i could run without getting winded, the energy i had, I refuse elevators and take the stairs at my therapist office, and i get mad im winded when i reach the top. Got tree work to do this week, idk. It’s not that im lazy, my binge really is just fucking nachos, and about six months ago, i decided, even if im binge nachos, i make a portion half what i used to, and double the jalapenos.
Bought my wife a home bike so that she could do some cardio while I worked. It’s good for the winter, it gets pretty cold here for her. She’s used to Indonesia and in Belgium it gets to 0 to minus 10 degrees in the winter months.
It’s a good option because you can read something while doing that. Basically you can be on the internet.
When you’re more fit, I’d suggest rope skipping. However it can be hard on the joints. It’s very good cardio though. Boxers do it all the time.
You also can buy some kettlebells. I have one of 16 and 20 kg at home, it takes no space at all. I use them for shoulder raises. They can be used for swings which is great cardio.
You can do bodyweight squats. I do 5 sets of 50 on a Sunday when I’m “too lazy” to fix up the weight for deadlift.
In all these years of working out, I quickly made the investment to have a home gym. Not because it’s cheaper in the long term, but because it’s far easier to actually do the workout.
The most difficult part about working out at a gym is getting to the gym. It feels like a drag. Sure, once at the gym it’s all great, but getting there the next time is once again a drag.
About food I don’t know shit though. I consume a lot of calories. Me working out and stuff like that is what I call damage control. I’m a stereotypical Belgian. I eat a lot of fries with mayo and drink strong beer.
Working out, and likely food, is all about mental stuff. Truly it’s half the battle. Need to figure out how to do a routine and keep to it. Like right now I’m going to do barbell rows because it’s Thursday. I don’t even view it as an option, it’s just what my Thursday looks like.
Good luck, getting back into shape is always difficult. But you know that after 2 months you’ll have a lot of energy. Then the trick is to keep working out just to keep that amount of energy.
I want to add, the fist time i binge ate, i was 8 years old. My guardian had a snack draw, full of all the 90s kid corn syrup you could want. We were to pack two for our lunches each day. My guardian was a severe misogynist, and even at 8, i was angry all the fat boys in media were clowns and funny and liked, and the fat girls were basically conveyed as trolls.
I remember hearing “growing boys need to eat”, and at 8(edit maybe i was 10), i thought, im growing too, why cant i eat? And i ate up that snack draw. It was my first protest to “girls should only eat things they look cute eating”.
I like to think if i had a proper mother maybe that wouldnt have happened. But the mother i had, i saw once a month and didnt eat ant veggies, was thin, but meat and potatoes is all she ever ate, water tasted bad to her and she only drank coffee. She was never a big part of my life. But my misogynist guardian was, and thus began my disorder. “Mayo puts hair on your chest; women are weak and stupid, i dont date fat women” ect I would hear and it would piss me off. I got fat, and i was the “daughter” he didnt rape. It protected me, in a way, but ive a mouth and i wish he would have tried, i could have gotten us kids out sooner.
As a teen hed throw fast food at me and call me names while i was confined to my room, not even allowed out by the end, to use the bathroom.
I have c-ptsd, and now at 37 still fucking stuggle with it.
I just wish i could live somewhere walkable, and i miss my 20s when i did live in a place like that.
Your husband could try and get a job in Europe. Here in flanders there’s quite a lot of walkability. They are creating bike lanes. I’m lucky that I can bike to work 15 km without interacting much with cars.
I could suggest Indonesia, for 100k euros you have a nice apartment with access to a gym and swimming pool. But I don’t know about the needs of your child. They don’t really speak English there either, but Bahasa is pretty easy to learn.
Personally I’d go to Batam, Indonesia. Right under Singapore. Live in the center.
For walkability it’s bad there kinda. And hot. Be careful of things like construction work. Can’t really know if it’s all safe.
As a fat highschooler, ehen, as a fat woman highschooler, i got rejected so many times. Never once did it make me hate and distrust men. Because every person is their own.
Get fit. Just do it. I started working out when I was 17, been doing for 12 years now. Best investment.
I did.
I was big growing up because my guardian literally kept me in my room, threw McDonald’s at me and called me a fat bitch. I was allowed to go to school, and go to my room from age 12-16. When he was arrested i lost 60 pounds, gained it back though. Then when i was 21 i lost 80 pounds in 11 months, i worked hard, rode my bike to work.
Then, I got pregnant at 25. Gained for that- but lost it all fast with nursing and maintained healthy weight until the pandemic. I liked hiking, and riding my bike to work, and ate whole foods, i had, had fast food a whole 3 times since i was 21. … until i was 32. My male coworkers ate bk for lunch every day, they were thin, our work was hard (i lifted and packed approx 2000-3000 pounds of material we made a shift), so i started getting Bk too. And i got fat.
The pandemic hit and my now husband got the unemployment, so he ordered restaurant food nearly 5x a week. I left my job to support my kid. I peaked my weight again.
Now, at 37 years old, with a special needs child, no walkability in my neighborhood, and no car (we have one car and he works a lot) to drive to the trails… my son at seven, stopped liking hiking anyway, i find myself stuck in my house. (The last time i took him he literally just layed down in the beginning of the trail and refused to move, its kind of funny now). This also was when hubs was ordering hella food, id get a salad or whatever but fries are just, a god. Anyway
I live a pretty isolated life. I signed up $40/month for a gym with a pool and was swimming last year, but when i only have a one hour window (with the car) to go a day, and the pool schedule being what it was, i stopped going. Excuse? Sure, but i always found it easist to lose weight and exercise when it was baked into my life, and not like, going to the gym, i dont want people to see the fat girl run, even when i was 21 i would run my neighborhood at night so people couldnt see me. But i liked the pool, i just cant get there without a car, which i dont have. My bike is broken, i sont onow how to fix it, and cant afford to, and like i said, you come out my little neighborhood, its immediately highway. I walked with ny son up there one day to try and go somewhere, and someone took a right on red, when we had the crosswalk, and nearly hit us. All you could hear was cars, and smell exhaust- truly aweful pedestrian experience.
Im back on whole foods, but its not really what i eat now, its seditary lifestyle. “So get out there!” One might say, i have highways on two sides of me, and an airport on the other, and a swamp on the otherside. My favorite local grocer is .6 miles from me measured directly through the swamp to the strip mall, you have to take a highway to get there. It’s so frustrating, i would walk. I really would. I struggle to work out on my own, my husband is tall and thin, and hates working out, so im on my own. Thats the hard part. Im keep eating my veggies and whole foods and continue to work on it, since i turned 32 my goal is to get fit again by 40.
My husband got a sword and i was messing around with it, and realized my arms have gotten weak, so just this week i started doing push ups. Or even just trying to hold myself up in that planking position. I work on my binge eating disorder with my therapist because, being alone in the house, with no friends to invite me anywhere, just readig the Internet some mornings, is enough to say, "I don’t care I’m making nachos for breakfast, it doesnt make dishes, i dont feel like cleaning the god damn cutting board and doing dishes. I do em all by hand, and when you cook from scratch, dishes are… plentiful.
Anyway, i know its the best thing. I remember when i could run without getting winded, the energy i had, I refuse elevators and take the stairs at my therapist office, and i get mad im winded when i reach the top. Got tree work to do this week, idk. It’s not that im lazy, my binge really is just fucking nachos, and about six months ago, i decided, even if im binge nachos, i make a portion half what i used to, and double the jalapenos.
Youre preaching to the choir on this.
Bought my wife a home bike so that she could do some cardio while I worked. It’s good for the winter, it gets pretty cold here for her. She’s used to Indonesia and in Belgium it gets to 0 to minus 10 degrees in the winter months.
It’s a good option because you can read something while doing that. Basically you can be on the internet.
When you’re more fit, I’d suggest rope skipping. However it can be hard on the joints. It’s very good cardio though. Boxers do it all the time.
You also can buy some kettlebells. I have one of 16 and 20 kg at home, it takes no space at all. I use them for shoulder raises. They can be used for swings which is great cardio.
You can do bodyweight squats. I do 5 sets of 50 on a Sunday when I’m “too lazy” to fix up the weight for deadlift.
In all these years of working out, I quickly made the investment to have a home gym. Not because it’s cheaper in the long term, but because it’s far easier to actually do the workout.
The most difficult part about working out at a gym is getting to the gym. It feels like a drag. Sure, once at the gym it’s all great, but getting there the next time is once again a drag.
About food I don’t know shit though. I consume a lot of calories. Me working out and stuff like that is what I call damage control. I’m a stereotypical Belgian. I eat a lot of fries with mayo and drink strong beer.
Working out, and likely food, is all about mental stuff. Truly it’s half the battle. Need to figure out how to do a routine and keep to it. Like right now I’m going to do barbell rows because it’s Thursday. I don’t even view it as an option, it’s just what my Thursday looks like.
Good luck, getting back into shape is always difficult. But you know that after 2 months you’ll have a lot of energy. Then the trick is to keep working out just to keep that amount of energy.
I want to add, the fist time i binge ate, i was 8 years old. My guardian had a snack draw, full of all the 90s kid corn syrup you could want. We were to pack two for our lunches each day. My guardian was a severe misogynist, and even at 8, i was angry all the fat boys in media were clowns and funny and liked, and the fat girls were basically conveyed as trolls.
I remember hearing “growing boys need to eat”, and at 8(edit maybe i was 10), i thought, im growing too, why cant i eat? And i ate up that snack draw. It was my first protest to “girls should only eat things they look cute eating”.
I like to think if i had a proper mother maybe that wouldnt have happened. But the mother i had, i saw once a month and didnt eat ant veggies, was thin, but meat and potatoes is all she ever ate, water tasted bad to her and she only drank coffee. She was never a big part of my life. But my misogynist guardian was, and thus began my disorder. “Mayo puts hair on your chest; women are weak and stupid, i dont date fat women” ect I would hear and it would piss me off. I got fat, and i was the “daughter” he didnt rape. It protected me, in a way, but ive a mouth and i wish he would have tried, i could have gotten us kids out sooner.
As a teen hed throw fast food at me and call me names while i was confined to my room, not even allowed out by the end, to use the bathroom.
I have c-ptsd, and now at 37 still fucking stuggle with it. I just wish i could live somewhere walkable, and i miss my 20s when i did live in a place like that.
Shoulda just killed him to be honest, but oh well
Your husband could try and get a job in Europe. Here in flanders there’s quite a lot of walkability. They are creating bike lanes. I’m lucky that I can bike to work 15 km without interacting much with cars.
I could suggest Indonesia, for 100k euros you have a nice apartment with access to a gym and swimming pool. But I don’t know about the needs of your child. They don’t really speak English there either, but Bahasa is pretty easy to learn.
Personally I’d go to Batam, Indonesia. Right under Singapore. Live in the center.
For walkability it’s bad there kinda. And hot. Be careful of things like construction work. Can’t really know if it’s all safe.
The solution is not moving country. God if it were that easy.