• golden_zealot@lemmy.ml
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    20 hours ago

    There was a guy on youtube once who uploaded a video talking about this who has the channel name “crazydumbsick”.

    Unfortunately I can’t seem to find the video as it looks like he regularly deletes content, and it currently only goes back about a month on his channel at present.

    Take everything below with a block of salt because this is from memory, and it was a few years back where I watched his video once, so I could be misremembering one or more things here.

    If I recall correctly he has Schizophrenia, Crohns, and an IQ of ~45, hence his channel name. He talked a lot about how hard it was to live, particularly pertaining to his IQ. He said that he has a hard time with remembering things and therefore most of his meals are made from pre-made microwaveable packages as he is capable of operating the microwave without too much difficulty, and he found it generally easy to follow the instructional lists on the packaging.

    He made note that operating any kind of machine much beyond a microwave or TV remote was largely beyond him, except his computer and camera which he had recently figured out well enough to be able to record and upload content - but outside of those actions, he really had no idea how to use them.

    I believe he also said that due to one or more of his conditions, he could not drive, which largely compounded the difficulties of his life.

    He talked about how finding work for someone in his situation is basically impossible and just as impossible to hold onto for very long. I believe he talked about a couple jobs he had been fired from and why, and while I don’t recall the specifics, I believe he had talked about how he was not even entirely certain why he had been fired. I think he said that he had done some things incorrectly, and at the time, had some vague concept of them being incorrect, but despite this, he was unsure why he had gone ahead and done them anyway.

    Overall, he seemed very sad in the video; he was terribly aware of how hard it is to live life being himself, and knew that there were basically no solutions to it.

    Having said all of that, he continued to upload videos and there were some good events and some bad events. I believe at one or more times he discussed having tried to take his own life. Other times he seemed fairly upbeat and was trying to better himself - trying to read through a textbook on auto work for example.

    Anyway, I think the original video I spoke about is one of the better videos I’ve seen uploaded to the internet. It was somewhat sad, but it was highly enlightening and certainly one of the most honest videos I’ve ever seen someone upload.