Tried my hand at rewording it:

Developers for the Game “Once Human” Remove Post Made After Game Breaking Update Requesting Positive Steam Reviews.

I’m no linguist, but I feel it’s at least better than the original.

I would have to go with landmines. If that isn’t enough of a deterrent, and claymores or even some bouncing betties.

“Welcome to Applebee’s! Would you like apples or bees?”

“Bees?”

“HE PICKED THE BEES!” chefs angrily shake jars of bees

I second this. If you already have one (or even a ps5 controller) then they are a perfect choice. I imagine a switch pro controller would work too, and you get the bonus of having a nice controller for your switch.

If you don’t have one then 8bitdo is a safe choice