fuck thousands for a coffin. or hundreds for an urn. can i legally be burried in butcher paper?
can i donate my body to science and skip burrial all together?
i want my final action to be a big middle finger to the funeral industry picking on people in their weakest moments.
Only half-jokingly, my suggestion te my wife is to have me cremated, then mix my ashes in with some concrete to make a life-sized statue of me.
Stick me on the front lawn and dress me up for holidays, put a pointy hat on me and make a giant lawn gnome, stick a bowl on my head to use as a bird bath, or dump me at a cemetery and let me be my own headstone, doesn’t really matter to me, I’ll be dead, I won’t care, but I figure she might as well be able to get a chuckle out of it, and maybe ruffle the feathers of some HOA Karen while she’s at it.
She actually really likes the idea. She wants to have my statue posed like Buddy Christ from Dogma.
And maybe go ahead and do the same with the ashes of any dogs I’ve had and stick them right next to me. Better than having them take up space on the mantle forever, and they’re more deserving of a monument than I’ll ever be.
Bonus, she’ll think of you and visit you way more often than if you were shoved in a back corner of a cemetary.