I think that most days, I don’t lie at all. I actively try to avoid lying; I have a long history of mental health issues, so I used to lie a lot about how I was doing, to avoid worrying people, but that turned out to be counter productive. If someone asks me how I’m doing, a "eh, getting by :/ " or similar can be surprisingly informative. I’ve been getting better at gesturing at my general not coping in a way that’s not going to give any more information that is appropriate or necessary. I’ve found that people actually worry less this way.
The problem I have is figuring out how to tow the line properly between lying and being too unfiltered in your truth and making someone uncomfortable. Because for the most part people aren’t looking for your life story when they ask you stuff like this.
Oh yeah, I still struggle with that too, but it’s a skill like any other. I’m at least practicing at it now, whereas I wasn’t trying before. When I get the balance right, it feels like I can build some rapport with people who are asking how I am on a surface level, without overloading them. It is a tricky balance to strike though.
I think that most days, I don’t lie at all. I actively try to avoid lying; I have a long history of mental health issues, so I used to lie a lot about how I was doing, to avoid worrying people, but that turned out to be counter productive. If someone asks me how I’m doing, a "eh, getting by :/ " or similar can be surprisingly informative. I’ve been getting better at gesturing at my general not coping in a way that’s not going to give any more information that is appropriate or necessary. I’ve found that people actually worry less this way.
The problem I have is figuring out how to tow the line properly between lying and being too unfiltered in your truth and making someone uncomfortable. Because for the most part people aren’t looking for your life story when they ask you stuff like this.
Oh yeah, I still struggle with that too, but it’s a skill like any other. I’m at least practicing at it now, whereas I wasn’t trying before. When I get the balance right, it feels like I can build some rapport with people who are asking how I am on a surface level, without overloading them. It is a tricky balance to strike though.
When people can trust you to tell the truth, they can trust you’ll ask if you really need help.