It’s not a social faux pas, it’s a severe mental health condition, but I have some fear of becoming a hoarder. My partner and I have several of the risk factors, so I keep trying to get rid of stuff.

Laughing really hard when I haven’t been to the toilet recently and I pee myself.

So I go to the toilet a lot just in case.

Bad breath. I have a toothbrush and paste at work so I can immediately fix it if I even think my breath might be funky.

Not really faux pas per se, but I have a very minor condition that makes my walking look slightly uncomfortable. I can either walk with very much tolerable pain or look a tiny bit funny. I am always self aware of it.

Unintentionally saying something insensitive

I sometimes choke on nothing. Happens very, very rarely but it gets ugly when I do it.

Overstaying my welcome

All of them, real or imagined.

Me too! I love having different colognes and layering them, but am also afraid of horseshoeing myself and being that guy who smells obnoxious, too much of a good thing. I once heard “cologne should be noticed, not announced” and I have kept it in mind ever since.

When the waitress says, “Enjoy your meal!” and I respond, “You too!”

Sheer existential dread.

Passing out in public. I’ve done it 3 times, none of them because I was drunk, and let me tell you, that embarrassment lasts a lifetime. It hasn’t happened in like 25 years, but if I feel even slightly off, I’ll excuse myself and go find a quiet corner, because I would rather die there alone than be remembered as that person who fainted in public.