I feel like you’re dealing with some problems and blaming them on different things. Being stinky as a child and your mother not allowing you to wash yourself is something totally unrelated to going to the grocery store versus using a delivery service.

Idk, it seems like you’re really upset. Tone doesn’t come across well on the Internet and I can tell this thread has you defensive already, so let me be clear when I say that me saying you’re upset isn’t me trying to somehow dismiss things you’re saying because you’re emotional. I know that sometimes when I get very upset and emotional, I have a tendency to see things as connected when they’re not. Even when I know I’m being overly paranoid I can’t help it. It appears as if you’re very upset about the way your mother has treated you and you’re expressing frustration about it. None of us can know what you’ve been through. It sounds like you’re trying to express a lifetime of anger in a few comments. It’s just not going to come across clearly.

When you say “how can people not want to improve their lives” with the context of what you’vw just said, it sounds more like you’re lamenting that your parents didn’t let you properly bathe yourself. But without this context, it just sounds like you’re just being angry at people for frivolous things like choosing to go to the store instead of using a delivery service. (And there are plenty of reasons to want to actually go in person.) It sounds as if you have gotten into a million arguments with your mother during your childhood about these sorts of things. Now, I’m really only guessing here, but it sounds like you’re seeing it all as connected. You’re seeing the abuse (?) your mother put you through by not letting you bathe as “someone refusing to improve their life” and perhaps equating it to arguments you’ve had with your mother about using delivery services so save money. But your mother not allowing you to bathe/not providing you with what you needed to bathe as a child isn’t your mother “refusing to improve her/your life”, it’s neglect.

Because it sounds like you’re processing some issues, I don’t think an Ask Lemmy thread is the right place to do it. Because when you accuse folks of going to the grocery store instead of using deliveries or criticize their methods of doing laundry/taking out garbage, it just sounds like you’re being an asshole.

I hope you find your peace.