My go to is the “See yourself as the price.”-approach. When you jokingly set her up that she is hitting on you. For example:
Her: So, you want anything to drink?
Me: Oh I see, already trying to get me drunk, eh?
Become a ball of anxiety, never talk to them, remain alone.
Be a normal person around them without trying anything. If they like you, you’ll notice it.
… usually randomly 5 years afterward.
Here is my favorite technique:
“First treat a woman like a person, then a princess, then a Greek goddess, then a person again.” -Shawn (Psych)
Treating some like a person first is really the most important thing. Everything else is optional but people like to be treated special for a while before being a person again.
Being near them for 4 years as a casual acquaintance and hoping they eventually initiate something.
And how’s that going for ya?
Disassociate and make funny small talk while i internally have an anxiety attack.
Pro move.
Classic cousin of the “realize a week later they were hitting on you and you blew it monumentally”
Prize, not price. And thinking unrealistically high of yourself will only attract low self-esteem girls. If that’s your thing, great for you.
The best strategy in my experience is being yourself, not artificially bending towards what you think will look attractive. Self confidence is more attractive than narcissism, at least for my type of girl.
is being yourself, not artificially bending towards what you think will look attractive.
If I’m understanding you correctly. Those things aren’t necessarily exclusive to each other in my opinion. I am constantly thinking of something funny to say because I like saying funny or flirtatious things. And you can learn these things, yet still hold true to oneself.
You sound 12, no offense. It’s also “prize”, not “price”, within the context of what you said.
Be best friends with her for yyears. Then literally just look at each other, shrug and say “Meh…might as well fuck”.
This would be a huge turnoff for me, letting me know I’m dealing with an immature conceited person. Maybe forget “techniques” and be real. If they like you they do, if not who cares? Someone else will.
Maybe forget “techniques” and be real.
For many people, being playful, like on OP’s example, is being real. I’m a playful person. I have generally been a class clown my entire life, and I’d even say it’s a pretty core part of my personality and my identity.
I’ve been married over 10 years, with kids, and I still do this kind of stuff with my wife. I enjoy being silly with my kids, too.
And when I was dating I’d rely pretty heavily on humor for flirting throughout all stages, from meeting a stranger to setting up a first date to being on a date, to going on multiple dates. The other person’s laughter was an indicator of whether we were making a connection. And then, later on, I learned that I could expect my partner to be funny too, and actively make me laugh.
Being fun and flirty is a legitimate strategy for making sure you have the opportunity to connect with people. It is, in itself, attractive to some. And it might be unattractive to others, but it’s better to be attractive to some and unattractive to others than it is to be forgettable and unnoticed.
If they like you they do, if not who cares?
I think this is a pretty naive way of looking at relationships. Connections require some level of effort, especially in adult life. As much as we’d all love to just naturally have friendships, romantic partners, and other relationships just fall into our laps, that’s not really how that works. Most connections require a bit of work to find others, to find commonalities, to develop interest, to have some give and take of making a deeper connection, to have some vulnerability and growth and change as that stranger becomes an acquaintance and develops into someone close.
For younger people, especially under 30, looking for a partner isn’t just about looking for someone they like now. It’s also someone they want to grow with and experience things together with.
This is true good advice. Being your actual self, while not always producing results will give you an actual connection when it’s real.
Real talk though, a wine and cheese date is amazing especially if you get wild with moldy cheeses and you both end up laughing at each others “weird cheese faces”
Make them laugh, easy day.
Bitches love cheese.
Her: So, you want anything to drink?
Wait are you hitting on them at their place of work, as a customer? Don’t fucking do that.
as a customer?
No, no, as her supervisor.
Ok, that’s funny. I’d go on a date with you.
I find that cringe tbh. Just be curious about the other person and talk like a human, not like a creep. Asking shit like “are you trying to get time drunk?” might sound funny to a man, but it is a legitimate concern for women and makes you sound like an arrogant teenager.
How in hell did your rational take get downvoted… The Lemmy hive mind is certainly just as bad as Reddit’s.
Yep, the more you spend here the more you realize it’s just Reddit but ad-ftee lol
Showing genuine interest in their personality and hobbies with eye contact. Asking questions about the aforementioned hobbies.
If you ever have the opposite situation, like say you are taken but someone has started flirting with you. You can either say you are spoken for or do the opposite of the above advice and talk only about yourself, adding some petty complaints about your life in general.
Lost me at “eye contact”.
In my experience flirting effectively has been about being open to possibility without becoming attached to any particular outcome. Someone sent me this video as a joke years ago and I’ve come back to it dozens of time because there’s a lot of truth hiding behind the silliness. We view flirting as thing you do, but I prefer to see flirtatiousness as a mindset I sometimes embody. https://youtu.be/B4g-IlGtpZg
What a cool video, thank you!
I’m kind of bad at actively flirting with someone. My flirting technique is to be interesting to look at while I listen intently. But it’s kind of worked out for me so who knows?
be interesting to look at
Do you mean, like, facial expression, makeup, or…?
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