I grew up in a rough household. We had holes punched into the walls, doors torn off the frames, my siblings and I saw regular abuse, and as a kid I constantly felt like I had to do things to keep the family held together.
I felt like I was treated by my parents as a servant. They constantly threw away anything I remotely liked, and continued stacking chores on me, especially those that weren’t my own mess. They gave me the boot shortly before graduation, and long story short, I finally got a place for myself after years of effort.
I just can’t shake this feeling though that things are painfully unfair. Like you escape hell after all these years, and the first thing expected from you is to find a job. I get it, you need to work to make money and pay the rent and bills but… why me? Why after all this time of putting up with the crap you have instead of being a kid are you just expected to step in line like everyone else when you never got that opportunity to find who you are and simply enjoy life for what it is.
I don’t know, is this lazy? It’s not that I don’t want to work, but why can’t I be a kid? Why can’t I have some time to reclaim what all was taken from me and have some time to enjoy myself rather than grasp at random short memories I had before I was 5? Everyone else got it, why not me?
I don’t know, am I just rambling about nothing?
Who said life is fair? Like that place you finally obtained after years of searching? Want to keep it? Probably need money to pay for it. Being bitter about it won’t change that fact so you need to figure out how to accept it and move on to improving your quality of life. Get an education/learn a trade, get a hobby or 2, make friends along the way and get some therapy from a professional to work on your trauma.
Choosing to be miserable instead of facing reality and working with it will only make things worse for you. Your misery will fester and grow. People will sense it and either avoid you or try to take advantage of it. Your past will dictate your future. I don’t think you want that so good luck.
Spot on. We all have our own demons. It’s up to us to overcome them and make a life for ourselves. Life is not fair, some get it better, so e have it worse, but it’s for each of us to conquer ourselves
Life is learning that no one looks out for you, no one is going to swoop in and make it easy. Nobody wants to go to work, but we all do anyway. I’d love to take a year off, but then I’d probably go homeless, so I don’t. I can wish it all I want, but it isn’t going to happen.
So, I could be resentful that others may have it easier, or I can enjoy my days off how I want and put in my time as I go. C’est la vie.
well said!